I don’t have any…

Exactly i don’t remember when i first had depression, it’s just now i became so habitual to it that i don’t remember anything clearly..

Once i was 8 year old, i went to my freiend’s house… I was looking dark not bcuz of my complex but bcuz i had applied lot of boroplus on face, my hair were very oily… Nd i was wearing a clean but faded frok. Her mother was at the door nd i asked, where is pinky, aunty… Later my friend told me… “my mother asked me, wo itni kaali si ladki kaun thi”

That day i went to home nd i washed my face 20 times.. It took me lots of time to convince me that i am not black… It was the first instance i remember…

Academically i was best at studies, i scored good marks always nd it was the reason i always got attention… We were four siblings, nd somehow we always had shortage of cloth… Nd also weird sense of fashion…we used to shop once a yeae nd me nd my sister bought lahanga on my 9th birthday… The greatest hit was, we used to wear it on every occasion that was held but marriage ceremony. Many made jokes on us…. But yeah whatever..

I was in 5th class, i thought my elder brother always scores good nd he get gifts for that… I too scored 90% in 5th board nd i demanded a bicycle… Same friend whom i told about earlier, his elder brother told her… Sapna sapne main 90% layegi… Actually in 90s it was not that easy to score this much unlike now.. 9/10 children scores highest cgpa now..

To be continued….


Person may have different identities. He may be hindu, muslim, Sikh, Christian, jew and so on.. Identities may also differ in terms of caste, gender, creed, color, race etc. Even identities may differ from ideologies. Socialism, communalism etc.

But when any person is seated upon any influential position, he needs to give up all those phenomenon. For now he is responsible and accountable to public at large. And any section of society should not be deprived from any rights on the basis of any discrimination. At the same time he has the responsibility of making them ethically strong and dutiful. For that he needs to think strategically..

There may be times when he is bound to criticise others for development as well as for once own continuity. But that doesn’t mean he can talk whatever comes to his mind.. So before speaking and acting he must think at least twice. That is sufficient.

Also not only speaker but also listener have the duty not to encourage any kind of random and baseless theory for sustainable development of society at large..

General public must take participation in criticizing and appreciating others for tgeir deeds. Criticizing doesn’t make one antinational.

Whatever our ancestors performed weather to deny, accept or even remained silent on major policies, all these had affects in our life and similarly our decision will have effect on future generation’s life.

One doesn’t board the plane whose pilot doesn’t know how to fly that plane. So we should be responsible in choosing our representatives.

Have a thought….

Random thoughts……

Sukh aur dukh ke beech antar kitna
Samajh jao to tinke jitna…

Ateet k pachtawe ya bhavishya k chinta k beech aaj ki mahroomiyat ya khaalipan h.. Jigyasa aur jijivisha kahin kho si gayi h..

Nirasha main h chuphi hui h…
Asha.. Jab nirasha khatam hoti h to asha ka janm hota h and vice-versa…

Waise to main ahimsa k paksh main hu
Aur hinsa to ahinsa main h h…

Vyaktitva main pahle doosro ka samajhna chahti hu…
Taki tareeka dhoond saku apna Vyaktitva doosro ko samjhane k…
Akele rahna to antim path h.. Ya aakhiri koshish…

Being remarkable v/s being noticed….

Attention seeking problem, every 3rd person have it.. People are rushing in ‘image banao andolan’ so desperately, need of being noticed in group, need of being socially active, and this very habit is making them far from being remarkable..

A naked person walking in a street will get noticed… But is he remarkable????

Person’s kindness, virtues, their warm comfort all these are out of map, sometime out of the wall..

Give some time to think about this…

Five companion…

Over a period of years i got to learn about universal factors which lead to success or failure. Although my opinions are still in research phase not in implementation phase.. And hence i am still carving for my own success.. Human mind is capable of understanding the most complex thoughts ever. Sometime we know our fault, we know the reason of it, we even feel some guilt and then… Nothing. We just continue to live the way we have been. I am not talking about extraordinary people, i am generalizing the fact for an average person. Who wake up ever morning, wears a tie, formal shoes, goes to office and just he is so satisfied, no, habitual to his daily routine, that he just don’t want to come out of his room.

Anyways i was speaking of five companions. I know the day, i will fully understand them, my new life will begin. There is no need to conquer them. We just have to make agreement with them. I need to align myself with these principles…

  1. TIME

This one is like the most powerful and most magnificent. There’s 24 hours in a day, thirty days in month and so on. Everything is so clear. Everyone knows that. I am still confused about speed of time. I know it has something to do with newton’s relativity.. But still i am not able to feel it. Its like the supreme power. It goes with you whenever you go, where ever you go. But it does not let you to feel its presence. It passes every second, minutes and never stopped for anyone. If you are looking for your future it has infinite possibilities. But what about past and present. They run like parallel lines though in different field and yet they never intersect each other. One keeps looking in past and keeps wasting present in it. See i told you, person knows his fault and still does the same thing again & again. Time is omnipresent. It sees everything and everyone. It was here when we weren’t and it will be here when we won’t. Time teases us with the most irritating tone and says ” you wasted me like a fool, i won’t ever come back” and when we are more depressed, it says not to worry because still it will help you and it will be in your side till the date you will live. Perfect definition of god. No one worship it. People neglect it. But then also it doesn’t care. Time works on his own. It teaches us the most important lessons of our life. And doesn’t ask anything in return for it’s credit. Among thousands of god in Earth, time has very cleverly maintained it’s dignity, position and yet far from any limelight.

” so the first thing to learn is to value time, use it to the fullest because it’s the most precious resource ever. ” and also it has godly power, do not waste time otherwise it will destroy you.. Haha..

2. Destiny

I am not talking about individual’s luck or bad luck. It’s about destiny of all living and non living beings. It’s some kind of aura or some invisible power which compel you to go in definite direction in order to move you forward towards the road which you have chosen. For instance when we ride bike, initially we start it, balance it, and after some time bike balance itself on it’s own. And we just enjoy the ride.. But that doesn’t mean, one can leave the break and accelerator, that way it will lead to accident. The same way destiny works. We start work and things go forward on their own. If someone chooses to become good person and act like one, destiny helps him to become a better person. And also if a person chooses to go on wrong path than also destiny helps him to be the worst one.

Hence second rule is ” you are not alone in battlefield. There is something which compels you to move either backwards or forward..”


Individual’s karma, one’s own action. Whatever we sow today, we’ll reap tomorrow. Whatever we are facing today, it’s because of our past actions. Even if someone does nothing, then also it is karma. For doing some work we need planning. That’s easy. I mean everyone one is good at it. Isn’t it. Then what’s that some people go ahead while some just lag behind more and more. Consistency, continuous monitoring, implementation, and review. What a big words. When person is just busy at phone, having more and more resources to enjoy social life. And if some one is having problems then he spends most of the time sleeping. That is also karma and so the fruit will be accordingly. It’s not that we don’t know all this thing and we are not aware of consequences. Off course we are. Then also there’s nothing which can move us. It’s just became more and more habitual in nature. The most difficult task is to come out of the vicious cycle of failures ( and every time we know we didn’t gave our best shot) & what are we waiting for. What we want from our lives? How to achieve that?? I also don’t know. Working on it.

Thus third factor is to identify the karma which we want to do and simply work on it.

4. Ethics

I was not able to find appropriate word to describe this feeling. So i will go with ethics. When we choose a path then something just either support us or oppose us. The values which we have learned over period of years that becomes a sound and whenever we work on something that tells us weather we are right or wrong. Ethics is person’s own religion. What he wants to follow and what he doesn’t. Person’s karma depends and derives from their Consciousness.

In the past people opted to follow their ethics and made the differences. That’s all about. To do something which mass or group of people aren’t doing. Because they are reluctant to do so. But that person who have guts to follow his inner voice and do something out of the league becomes a legend.

Forth rule is to follow one’s own values and ethics “always” and for every route. Write down your own rules and break them as per your will. And the justification, it’s enough if you know them regardless of the fact weather world will understand it or not.


Though it comes lowest in hierarchy, but this act as foundation to above factors. And foundation should be strong enough to hold the building and prevent it from collapsing. To start anything we need strong intention, which shall not be swayed by anything and by anyone. There may be possibilities that even a single person on earth will not support you. Our idea may not seem practical to others. But it’s up to us to go ahead and prove everyone wrong. And if not so at least prove ourselves right. If we intend to do certain thing, path will definitely open one by one. And if we leave our intentions in mid way we will not be able to do anything completely and all the work started by us will be unfinished forever. That’s not a good feeling. To hold our intentions with grip and to remember it every second seems difficult. But to attain great things, patience and consistency will be needed.

So get hold yourself, organise your thoughts, stick to your schedule, and just go for it.. Rest leave on time..